“I will never forgive you for making me become a Dad, and I still won’t be one!” That’s what my clients ex told her when she refused to have a termination.
A childish and immature thing to say isn’t it? Unfortunately, childishness and immaturity are common traits in these types of men who give women the ‘it’s me or my own baby’ ultimatum.
These sorts of men believe the choice the woman has made to keep her baby is an unfair one, and start to display all sorts of inappropriate behaviour and make false allegations when they don’t get their own way, for example the pregnant woman may be accused of trying to trap her boyfriend, cheat on him, etc and he may become angry feeling that he has no say just because she is not doing what he wants.
However, a woman’s choice to keep her baby is her own as it’s her body.
If your ex-boyfriend ended the relationship and walked away because he didn’t want you to go ahead with the pregnancy there will be times where you feel alone, times when you will miss him and be desperate for his company, days when you will wish he would have stayed to work things out with you for the sake of the baby, and days when you will feel like your decision to have your baby has cost you your happiness. If this is your first pregnancy you will find it hard and no doubt be devastated by the experience of missing out on having support from the babies father, and angry that things have turned out this way, it doesn’t help matters if he is also being rude to you.
I think that boyfriends who get their girlfriends pregnant then end the relationship because she has chosen to keep the baby are cowards and should try stopping sometime to think about how the pregnant women they abandon feel- as well as the fact that some women simply cannot go through facing having an abortion.
As a woman in these circumstances it’s easy to feel angry with yourself and regret ever meeting this guy, but it’s important not to dwell over the things you can’t change right now, and instead focus on the things that you can change like getting on with your life- without your ex.
The road ahead can appear to be a dark one and there might be times when you don’t know how you will get through the day in between all the raging and crying from one moment to the next.
Being dumped pregnant by a boyfriend is the ultimate rejection and it hurts like hell.
A woman in this situation can spend more than half her pregnancy wondering and trying to understand why her ex boyfriend would not want his own child and how he could treat her this way. It is very frustrating for a woman when she knows how understanding her partner is capable of being, yet is being extremely difficult and is causing her stress by believing his actions are right and refuses to reason with her.
I think what hurts women who are going through this the most is when the relationship they had with their boyfriend before they got pregnant was great, and now she is pregnant all of a sudden he shows another side to him, he doesn’t care and she wonders if he ever did or was it all fake?
It makes her begin to question everything but it’s also important that women understand some men have next to no emotional attachment when a woman is pregnant making it easier for them to just carry on ignoring the situation.
Remember, it is never wrong for a woman to keep a baby a man does not want, you have done nothing wrong. It is the woman who has to live with the consequences of a termination when it isn’t what the man wanted, and because of his actions (she didn’t get herself pregnant).
Whatever choice the woman makes it will always be with her, even when the man isn’t.