Abandoned Pregnant By A Player

When a woman falls pregnant for a player who has abandoned her because he doesn’t want a baby, (feeling it will ruin his womanising ways and lifestyle) she faces an emotional rollercoaster ahead. A player will not stop seeing other women because one woman is having his baby- especially if he isn’t happy about it- in fact he is more likely to see other women during this time to help distract himself and use them to forget about the one he’s abandoned pregnant.

A man who has an issue in staying faithful to one woman also has the issue of staying faithful to himself in the process, he may feel that he can’t trust himself to be a loyal man to any woman let alone a father to any child, and might think that the pregnant woman is trying to trap him into a situation where he will always have to come back to her because she has someone priceless and special that belongs to him. The thought of this woman who he never had any plans of making any commitment to now becoming the mother of his child and having any sort of ‘hold’ or long term expectation over him scares him, including what his other player friends will think, he doesn’t want to be laughed at, mocked, roasted, and made fun of for his ‘mistake’ as in this game a players ego is everything and for some of these types of men getting a woman pregnant and doing a runner or denying being the father is all a part of it.

Unfortunately there isn’t anything you can do about this man other than to allow the child maintenance to run after him for child support, but you can do everything about your own circumstances in your power to make sure that you get through this without him since it was his choice not to be around. When dealing with a player in this situation this may be the best way as it eliminates any unwanted drama between not just the two of you but also any other women who may be in his life and cause you unnecessary frustrations by getting involved in what doesn’t concern them. The biggest fear your player baby’s father has right now is that you and the baby will change everything, he fears being with you both as you represent and become everything he didn’t want and has been trying to avoid -feelings/love/routing/stability/a family- which is why he chose to be a player, because he doesn’t want that, but just because a man doesn’t want to be in a relationship with the mother of his child it doesn’t mean he couldn’t be a supportive dad.
But it’s not for you to dwell on what he doesn’t want, you have chosen to keep your baby which is what you want and if your baby’s father has decided to put his own selfish wants and the needs of other women before his own child then leave him to it. I know it’s difficult, especially when you are very aware that he is with other women and taking them out on dates when he isn’t even interested in attending his baby’s scan, it feels just awful, you think about him buying these women dinner and drinks without bating an eyelid of concern over what his baby on the way might need, you wonder how can he care about these other women and not you or his baby, you both don’t deserve to be treated like that.
There are so many things a pregnant woman in this situation could spend a lot of time wasting thinking about that does nothing for her apart from leave her even more heartbroken, in tears, or bitter and raging that the father of her baby is out there living his life happily with other women while not giving her a second thought. It’s best a woman is harshly honest with herself in these situations in order to move on and heal from this hurt as quickly as possible and it’s more than likely that she knew the type of man he was, but never expected him to treat her like that.
If you have been abandoned pregnant by a player please understand that you can not change his behaviour and there is no point in trying an answer for it, but what you can do is look forward to your future with your baby! As hard as it is always try to maintain your dignity when it comes to finding out about other women and avoid behaving in a childish and spiteful way.
Remember, I’m always here if you need to talk!

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Kandy Dolor is the author and founder of KandyCares self-help books for women and dedicated her time to supporting women and teenage girls who are going through pregnancy alone- without support from the father.

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