The first obvious reason being that she never expected to
ever end up in this drama.
I mean which pregnant woman does? Unless she planned it and that’s a whole other subject.
But honestly, a woman who is preparing to not only have a baby, but also become a single mother has plenty to be angry about if she has been abandoned by the father of her child; not just because she didn’t get pregnant by herself, but due to the fact that she has other things worrying her that come as a result of his actions.
For example, if he claims he isn’t the father, it suggests to others or could start rumours that she was sleeping around so of course she is going to be angry if she wasn’t, and he knows it too but doesn’t care about how it makes her look just as long as he gets out of his responsibilities as looking clean as he possibly can.
She has to deal with him not caring, and that hurts especially when he shows her that he is capable of helping others knowing fully well that she could do with his help too, more importantly than anyone else in his life at this time.
She is angry that she has put a part of this man first in her life and he has removed her from his, she is angry that he doesn’t think about what will happen to their baby if anything happens to her, she is angry that he doesn’t consider what his baby needs to have a positive start in life, she is angry that he spends his money at pubs, clubs, on other women, friends, etc. But is yet to attend a scan, ask how her pregnancy is going, buy a pack of nappies or a baby grow, or just do something, anything.
She is angry that she has to carry her shopping home alone without his help, angry she can’t call him to massage her back when it aches, angry she can not rely on him for anything but he could always rely on her, you can bet she was always there for him.
She thinks to herself ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ And then she’s angry again because she knows she did nothing wrong, after over thinking some more she’s enraged because she did do something wrong; she knew he was the wrong man for her, she didn’t protect herself, and she didn’t trust her instincts about him and she’s angry with herself for giving him her all too soon, without knowing what he was capable of.
But the truth is, nobody really knows what anybody is capable of, so it makes no sense now to go over and over any bad choices made at this point.
This is where the anger comes from, not the fact that you’ve actually been abandoned pregnant.
Being abandoned pregnant is heartbreaking, it’s sad, but the reality of those feelings don’t really kick in until the baby arrives, it’s those moments when you are staring at sweet, innocent he or she and think to yourself ‘look at my adorable baby who’s father doesn’t want to know’ and that is where the devastation comes from.
The reason you’re angry is because you’re thinking about the way you’ve been treated by the father of your child and that is understandable, but do you really want to miss out on making the most of what could be a happy pregnancy?
Always remember that you are still you without the father of your child, you are not missing anything you need to make yourself happy, when he abandoned you he didn’t take any part of you with him, he walked away from the part of him that is now left in you and will be with you forever.
I can relate to the angry emotions women go through in these situations from my own past similar experiences, I remember being full of rage and feeling so rejected I used to wish all sorts of bad things would happen to the fathers of my two children who abandoned me pregnant.
Now I realise how unhealthy and toxic that attitude was towards my circumstances, it didn’t help me it turned me into bitter and resentful woman.
I’m not saying you aren’t allowed to be angry, but don’t hold onto anger for more time than it’s worth! You risk missing out on doing so many enjoyable things not just during your pregnancy but during your whole life in general without even realising it’s because you’ve been stuck on being angry!
I know it’s hard, but don’t let your own anger that you created and control eat you up.