A Tribute To My Dad

Nine years today…
imageHow proud I am to say that this is my Dad who raised me alongside my mother since I was three months old until the day he died, although I was not biologically his own.
He is one of my main secret weapons of strength because I KNOW he watches over me, guides me through my good and bad choices and protects me from above, even now nine years after his passing I still see him in my dreams.
Whenever I feel like I am ready to give up, his story and my memories of him keep me going.

My Dad went from being a neglected young boy to building his own empire of estates as a man-with his bare hands- without an education or any qualifications.
He wasn’t perfect, none of us are, there were times when he and my mum had their ups and downs just like every other family but as I was a child it did not involve me.
All I can speak on are my experiences.

His heart was BIG!
When he loved, he loved fast and he loved HARD!
He never gave up on love and always had enough to go around, I get that from him.
There are people who can’t imagine or even begin to understand all he went through in his life or why he behaved in certain ways, but as I grow older and become wiser I totally get it because my life has gone down a similar path in the past and it is because of him I know and believe I can achieve anything my heart desires, no matter how long or how much it takes.
My Dad taught me A LOT.
Most of all, he taught me how to be strong mentally, emotionally and physically. I thank The Most High for him being in my life because without him and the experiences he took me through I wouldn’t be half of who I am today,(I owe the other half to my mother) I am and will always be truly grateful for his love and protection.

I remember the time we lived in Saint Lucia, my Dad took me to this massive plot of land, it looked like a huge jungle and the grass was up to my face.
He said “Perdarda aka Padeeta(my Saint Lucian names he gave me) I will build a mansion here for us to live in, as the weeks went by I saw my Dad buy massive Lorries, trucks and vans, he hired workers and bought cement, bricks, doors, windows, tiles, etc. all the building materials you could think of and he got to work.
This was the end result.
When the house was being built one of the last things complete where the stairs, so we had to climb up ladders to get in and one day I missed a step and fell through the ladder.
I managed to hold on and was dangling in the air.
I looked down below me, there were huge, pointy, long, sharp nails in the ground underneath me and I remember panicking at the thought of what would happen if I lost my grip.
My Dad shot past all my family members who were also on the ladder shouting at me to hold on and I will never forget the feeling of his strong, firm hands pulling me up and he carried me back up that ladder into the house.
He quite possibly saved my life that day!

I remember the time I was being bullied and inappropriately touched by a boy at school, It took me some time to tell my parents but I did and when neither the school or the boy’s parents did anything about it my Dad decided to take it into his own hands.
Let’s just leave it as that boy never troubled or touched me ever again!

One of my favourite memories is sitting in the car waiting for someone with my Dad and Whitney Houston’s “Your Love Is My Love” came on the radio.
My Dad took my hand swaying it side to side as he smiled and sang it to me while staring into my eyes.
That memory makes me cry every time I think of it, those words are extremely meaningful, especially now. It will take an eternity to break us…

I watched my Dad die. It was one of the the worst days of my life, I never got to thank him for everything he ever did for me or tell him how much I love him.
I will regret it forever. If you have a stepfather who you love go and tell him how much right now!

The reason I have shared so much with you all today is to not only tell memories of my Dad but to also give hope to women who have been abandoned pregnant, single mothers and those who have grown up with step father’s never meeting their own biological dads.
Sometimes you don’t need to! Sometimes a stepdad is the only dad you need! Sometimes the right father figure will forever be more important than DNA!
Sometimes people don’t even realise when a man is not the biological father to a child due to their close, strong bond and when a man treats a child as if they were his own.
Sometimes it is the stepdads who really step up!
There are decent men out there who will take on a single mother and her child or children treating them the way they deserve to be loved.

Single Mothers.
You do not have to hold onto hope that a reluctant biological father will return or change his mind about being in his child’s life, never be afraid to move on, don’t put your life on hold because you just never know who will come along and be a positive father figure for your kids.
Brilliant stepdads do exist!

Rest In Eternal Peace Dad. I will always love you.

Love Kandy






Don’t Miss Out On Feeling The Life You Are Living! -Abandoned Pregnant


Overwhelmed by anger? Frustration? Heartbreak?
It’s not wrong to feel upset, it’s not wrong to cry, it’s not wrong to scream or shout, what is wrong is to keep it all inside and be alone in your pain!
Share it!
Does nobody seem to understand how you feel about being abandoned pregnant by the man you once loved?
Do people say that you haven’t moved on or that you’re not over him because you can’t stop talking about what he did to you?
If they do then you’ve been speaking about your situation and sharing that information with the wrong ones!
I’ve spoken to too many women who tell me that they’re unable to express their emotions with those who they consider to be their ‘nearest and dearest’
because they know that they will say something negative or what they don’t want to hear or need to hear at that moment in time which only leaves them feeling worse!
Women who have been abandoned pregnant need support not scrutiny.
Don’t bottle up your feelings out of fear from what others who just don’t get it will think!

Instead, open yourself up to everything, embrace those emotions, express your truths and let them flow out- if, as and when they need to! Don’t miss out Sometimes you don’t even need to speak to anybody, you can come to your own solutions via writing! Be your own therapist, nobody knows you better than yourself! Deep down you know what you need to do, what you’d like to make happen and how to go about doing it, but too often we seek approval and opinions from others about our own emotions which we are in control of, not them!

Of course there will be times when you need someone who is completely genuine in caring about how you feel and can relate to you while giving you an ear and advice but just make sure it’s someone who isn’t judgemental and likely to take shots at your self-esteem.

Always remember that what hurts you now will be over one day and you will realize that these challenges had great purpose in your life!

Stay strong!

Kandy D x