Many women who have been abandoned pregnant by a partner may have suffered from previous experiences of abandonment, rejection and loss before at some stage in their lives making the whole situation extremely overwhelming for… More
A short story wrapped up in poetry with a moral…
Unfortunately this kind of situation is very much a reality for many pregnant women. If you’re one of them don’t put yourself in a position where you end up in a competition with a woman who has no morals over a man who loves neither of you. At the end of the day, you don’t need to get into any drama with her because you already know something she clearly doesn’t and hasn’t seen for herself yet… His other side and he will show it in time, so leave them to it so that he will be her problem completely and you can begin to move on in peace, you will be fine! You can find more poems like this in my new poetry book for single pregnant women ‘Oceans Of Emotions’ which will be out very soon!
Kandy D x
Zoey lay on her bed rubbing on her five month pregnant stomach in deep thought thinking over and piecing together all the lies her ex had fed her that she’d swallowed all in the name of love.
She was angry over what a fool she must have looked to everyone and had been to herself for believing in such a sorry excuse of a man Craig turned out to be.
Deep down Zoey knew why she believed in him, just like every other woman he’d been with before her; he sold dreams. He sold himself as every woman’s dream man come true. Now he was hers and he came at a price as did everything else that followed in time; like his attention, his attitude, his happiness and his three children from previous relationships. Zoey hadn’t realised her dream man was in fact her worst nightmare until it was too late.
Too late to listen to the many warnings her family and friends all gave her, too late to listen to her mother who told her not to ignore those red flags and too late to say or do anything about it, apart from listen to a few “I hate to say it but we all told you so’s”.
Zoey couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d done so wrong in her life to deserve to be looked straight in the eyes by the man she loves and told “I don’t love you, never have and never will, so how do you expect me to love this baby you’re forcing on me that I don’t want?
Zoey was confused, angry and hurt.
How could Craig just totally disregard his role in giving the baby to her first, she didn’t get pregnant by herself! How could he not love her after two years together and for everything she’d done for him during that time. Craig’s phone line and car was in her name, she’d been paying for them monthly on promises he’d pay her back but he never did and yet she still continued to bail him out financially. Zoey had taken Craig on holidays abroad to the US, Caribbean and Europe, he lived with her rent free and didn’t contribute towards anything.
Zoey treated Craig as if he was the last man on earth and did whatever he asked because she wanted to keep him happy.
Craig made Zoey happy too in better past times, but she was a simple woman with a giving nature so it wasn’t hard to please her, she appreciated the little things and accepted way less than she deserved.
It hadn’t mattered to Zoey that Craig made less money than she did, and it hadn’t mattered that he cut hair for a living and she was a high flying home lettings agent.
She even lied about how much she earned so not damage his ego and avoid any awkwardness or insecurities.
Craig always kept Zoey laughing and he was very sweet to her and kind. He had a little ‘bad boy’ in him but he could also be a gentleman.
Crig reminded Zoey how much he loved her several times a day, he held her hand everywhere they went, he sang to her, he made amazing love to her and he made her feel safe with him. He once melt her heart and made her cry by gazing into her eyes and saying “Zoey, If you ever get the urge to hug me, kiss me, or hold my hand wherever we are, whoever we are with just do it, because life is short and tomorrow isn’t promised.”
In return for what Zoey believed was true love she gave Craig herself- recently more than ever on the weekends when she turned into a single mother of three when he dropped his kids off and disappeared during what was supposed to be his time to spend with them.
She’d look after them, feed them, take them out and sometimes even drop them back to their mothers.
Craig’s excuses for being absent were about his new barber shop being fitted and furnished apparently there was an issue with the wiring and a few electrical sockets he’d recently had installed, there was always a reason and the reason was always the barber shop, another thing that Zoey also had put in her name on the lease and paid the deposit for.
Despite his many faults and flaws Zoey loved Craig, he was loving, caring, kind, sharp, handsome, charming, smooth and on point with his swag, he had the attitude to match and being thirty four years old -eight years older than herself, Zoey felt like she had a man and not a boy, forgetting that age was just a number not a sign of maturity.
Zoey remembered how quickly things moved between she and Craig when they first met, it went from a simple hello to I love you within two months, everyone thought it was going to end in tears or disaster as it was so whirlwind, but two months lead to four, then six, then a year passed and suddenly they were living together, talking about getting married and starting a
family someday and yet here they were, two years in and a baby on the way, except Craig now wanted out.
Zoey was emotional and so busy trying to figure out what she could do to make things right again, she didn’t take a break to think properly or long enough to see that it wasn’t her fault why things were going wrong.
She was the only one doing anything right and the only one putting any effort into the relationship.
Craig was taking everything she had to give, no longer giving anything back in return.
Craig had stopped making Zoey laugh, he stopped opening doors for her, he stopped always asking her if she was ok, he stopped talking to her bout his life, he’d become distant, unreliable and inconsiderate, he told compulsive lies, started staying out all night and turning off his phone, whenever he was out he texted more and called less. Zoey’s intuition told her another woman was in the picture but each time she accused Craig of cheating he accused her of not trusting him and told her that if there was no trust, then there could be no love.
Zoey laughed at her flashback of Craig insinuating she didn’t love him when he’d turned out to be the one who didn’t actually love her.
She often wondered why she was putting herself through having this man’s baby when he said didn’t want her and his actions showed her so too.
It made her feel worthless, especially whenever the thought of him possibly being with other women instead of wanting to be with her came to mind.
Zoey answered her own questions in her head honestly ‘I’m having Craig’s baby even though I know he doesnt want to be with me anymore right now because I still want a part of him to be with me, if I chose to not go ahead with the pregnancy he would no longer have any reason to get in contact with me and I couldn’t bare that because I still love him. I don’t want to let him go because I’m still hoping he will come back, I know that by having this baby I will stay on his mind no matter how many women he gets with and he’s bound to be back at some point, Craig’s just angry at the moment and acting out of character, maybe he’s having a midlife crisis, he will be back when he’s over it, after all we were together for two years…’ Zoey was used to doing this, going around in circles of emotions. One minute she couldn’t stand Craig for leaving her and was angry with him for being so ungrateful and such a user, the next minute she felt bad for being so judgemental over his financial difficulties and thought if you truly love someone you help them, then she remembered the lies he told her and got mad, then she missed him and became sad.
Zoey hadn’t even realised that her decision to keep the baby wasn’t even her own, she’d made it based on trying to keep hold of Craig.
She hadn’t thought about how having a baby might affect her own lifestyle, or about the reality of becoming a single mother and if it was something she really wanted. Zoey hadn’t explored all her options because she was too caught up in being one of Craig’s, also believing he was the only option that she had.
He was all she wanted.
Zoey was no longer living her best life like she was when she first met Craig, he’d worn her out. Her hair was no longer the same length, it was weak and kept breaking, she always looked tired from a lack of sleep worrying about problems that weren’t even hers, they were his and most of them about money.
Zoey had stopped helping Craig financially over the past few months before he left because of how he was treating her, she also felt like his reasons for always needing money and never having any were lies to get his hands on more of her money and she began to grow suspicious of his endless stories ending in financial misfortune.
Sometimes Zoey felt bad for thinking that way about Craig and often had to remind herself of his actions, he’d stay home and spend days flattering her, attending to her every need, making her feel like a queen until he got what he wanted and then he’d be gone again leaving her with “I love you, you’re the only woman for me” and she believed every word.
Towards the end, the relationship was bittersweet.
Zoey hated how she was being treated but she just couldn’t walk away, she didn’t want to give up on Craig because she knew how loving and wonderful he could be and she wanted that Craig back, it had been eight months since he was the man she once thought she knew.
Zoey felt like she wanted to cry each time she remembered the last time they slept together, he’d called her a bitch when he ejaculated and had a look of disgust on his face.
Zoey hadn’t even realised she’d been in bed thinking for a whole two hours until she caught sight of the time when her phone rang…
“Zoey sit down, I need to tell you something before you hear it from anyone else”
To be continued…
READ CHAPTERS 1 & 2 OUT APRIL 21st 2018 BY PURCHASING DIGITALLY ON THE KANDYCARES ETSY STORE FOR 99p
CHAPTERS WILL BE RELEASED WEEKLY!
Hey ladies! I hope you enjoyed the free sample read, “why release the chapters weekly?!” I heard you ask… Ever heard of the book blues? It’s when you’ve finish reading a good book you just couldn’t put down too quickly and are left wanting more. Well, I want to leave you wanting more of Abandoned Pregnant By A Psychopath every week like a scheduled TV series. I wrote this novel to help other single pregnant women escape their own realities while still being able to relate to most emotions and situations happening to the main character in the book.
Please let me know what you thought of the preface in the comments I’d really appreciate it.
Kandy D x
I’d like to wish my followers a Happy Mother’s Day!
I know for some single moms this day can feel lonely, especially if they have young children, and most single mothers would love a day where they can relax or be the centre of attention. It’s usually the dad who helps the kids make the cards, breakfast, presents, etc. So for some single moms who have small children it can feel like when there’s no dad there is no Mother’s Day.
Sometimes it can feel like a reminder of not having the family a woman always wanted and brings a sense of feeling that they are really on their own and feel unappreciated by their children’s absent fathers. But they’re not alone and single moms deserve to celebrate Mothers Day twice as much as they work twice as hard! I’d advise single mothers with young children on Mothers Day to treat themselves! Go out to the theatre, cinema or park then for a meal with the kids or order in, get themselves some flowers, make something with the kids, play with them, spend time talking to them, after all, your children are the ones who made this your day! Don’t make yourself upset on Mothers Day and then again on Fathers Day too…
Take time out to be grateful that you are able to hold your children close and breathe in their scent, rejoice in the fact you are all safe and happy and most importantly together!!!
In the evening get the children to bed early for some ‘me’ time when you can pamper yourself, do your nails, put on a face mask, and have a nice soak in the bath with a glass of red wine!
Happy Mothers Day💜
Come on ladies! It’s time to let go of the bitterness he left reeling inside you!
Put all your energy and anger into building a bright future, one where there’s no way back for him to return and never will be! Focus on smashing the hell out of your goals one by one and don’t let anything he says or does make any of your hard work become undone! Once you stay on track it’s just a matter of time, before you feel amazing about yourself and leave memories of him and how he treated you far behind!
YOU CAN DO IT!
You can become that woman nobody ever saw coming, least of all your ex especially as the last time he saw you he’d abandoned you pregnant! He thought he’d left you stuck in the mud, he thought you wouldn’t ever pull through and would never stop begging for his acknowledgment, but you did! You realised that he isn’t worth anything in your life just as he isn’t worth anything being out of it, you realised you had nothing to loose, but he lost everything and he will never be able to get it back!
Keep smiling, keep believing in yourself, keep pushing, day by day adds up and eventually all the small steps you took will suddenly get you to your destination! Life is a journey and what you are going through now is all a part of the experience! You are strong enough to persue your dreams, be bold, have courage, seek the support you need and continue! Never stop!
Don’t allow gossip or rumours to stop you, don’t allow people to stop you, don’t allow any excuse to stop you.
Use everything he did to you and how you felt about it in the past to remind you of why you need to fight for and deserve a better future!
Kandy D x
He’s abandoned her while pregnant, she can’t help but keep reaching out to him trying to get her point across, trying to get him to see how he has made her feel and all the stress his actions have caused.
He just wants her to hurry up and accept the situation, he wants her to stop nagging, leave him alone and let him be free.
He’s told her his position in all of this and he doesn’t understand what more she wants.
She wants him to act human, to stop being so cold and be emotionally available!
She wants him to be responsible and accountable for his actions and everything else that he has put her through, she wants him to say for himself how loyal and in love she must be to put up with all his bs in spite of him treating her like garbage.
She wants some consideration and understanding towards how he has made her feel, she wants to be acknowledged.
I know this feeling all too well, trying to get the man whose child you are carrying to actually care about your feelings. You’d have a better chance having a pretend conversation with him in your head than it actually becoming a reality!
Whenever you need to share how you’re feeling, speak with those who truly care about you, don’t not tell him because as long as he is still in the frame of mind of not wanting to be a father you won’t feel any better for it!
Kandy D x
If your unborn baby’s father has abandoned you during your pregnancy and is completely adamant about not wanting to have a baby, then there comes a time when you need to do the best thing for yourself, which is focus on you.
Your baby is the only thing that matters right now, of course your hurt feelings do too and you will need to heal which is why it’s best to do it before your baby arrives. The time you waste trying to get a reluctant father to actually become a father would be much better and wiser spent on improving yourself, your well-being and your health.
That WILL make you feel better! Staying stuck in ‘why me?’ mode or trying to figure out his behaviour will only keep you down!
Leave him and your unanswered questions for the future to deal with!
There is ALWAYS a reason WHY!
Don’t try to force anything from anyone who doesn’t want to give you what you need from the heart, you won’t receive what you get well as it will not be genuine and you will know it because you will feel it.
Trust and believe in yourself that you can get through this experience just as myself and so many other woman have by practising self-love, build up your self-esteem, be happy again with being you, by yourself and plan for the future because you won’t be alone for long!
Get to it! There is much to do! It’s time to start focusing on you!
Stay Strong Ladies!
Kandy D x
The hardest thing for an abandoned pregnant woman is time…
Nine months of feeling rejected… Time wondering and worrying if her baby’s father will come back, time trying to convince him to come back, then realising how much time he’s been gone… I think one of the toughest things in this situation is when a woman doesn’t realise exactly how much time she loses out on when she spends the whole nine months of her pregnancy trying to convince and turn back time with her absent baby’s father who is meanwhile having the time of his life…
It’s just not worth your time!
How you spend your time as a single pregnant woman is important, especially being emotional, you need to be around uplifting, positive people and engage in activities that take your mind away from you thinking about what your ex is doing. Get yourself up out of bed and out the of the house, GO GET YOUR LIFE! Being pregnant never stopped any woman from living!
Write down a list of the pros and cons of waiting for him, be honest with yourself, (I’m comfident that you have more to lose waiting on him) anytime you realise you are beginning to waste time over thinking about him read over the pros and cons. After that, remember why you need to stay strong during this time… To keep it moving!
The only way is up!
Kandy D x
Ladies, please don’t waste any of your precious time waiting for him to change! The time it takes for that to happen could be in-between now & infinity!
Thats right! You could be waiting until forever, do you really have that time to waste and is he even worth it?
There are many women clinging desperately to hope that the men who have left them pregnant will return to their lives with heartfelt apologies and make amends for their childish behaviour, I personally know a woman who has waited 15 years, she never dated anybody else after his departure and sadly, she now has mental health issues.
Love or what you think is love can make you CRAZY
Don’t become the woman who loses her mind over a man who doesn’t even have you on his!
Your mind and your time are terrible things to waste!
Ask yourself truthfully, what exactly are you waiting for to return? Because things will never be the same between you and this man again, even if he did one day magically reapper, you’d still and always will question where he has been when he left you pregnant.
You could be waiting for another ticking time bomb..
Our time is precious and I bet he’s already used up more than enough of yours, so don’t give him anymore!
Instead, use your time to heal and as time passes everything will become easier until you finally accept the situation for what it is and no longer dwell over what you wanted it to be or what it could have been.
Kandy D x
You’d think that deadbeat dads who have done 0 to support the mothers of their children or contribute anything towards their children’s lives would be happy for those women who manage to find their feet on solid ground, and succeed in raising their kids alone with a promising, positive future despite how bad things may have been in the past.
Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case and many deadbeat dads end up feeling severe jealousy and intense hate and anger towards those women they disrespected and made feel worthless, all because these women are now doing better than them in life and those deadbeat dads are now aware that it was in fact themselves who were worthless all along and they still are- and now everyone else knows it too- (including the people they bad mouthed these women to) Now everyone can see for themselves just the type of low life man he is!
These types of losers will attempt to compete against the women they abandoned pregnant to try to prove they still have game, but they will ALWAYS fail in the same way they failed to support the woman they got pregnant and their innocent children. The rejection, worthlessness and pain felt by the women those men abandoned during their pregnancies becomes the man’s reality for his own future! It’s called KARMA and it’s REAL!
But most of these men don’t realise that until down the line, when they are lonely, getting old, tired and through and no other woman wants them anywhere as near compared to how much the woman he left pregnant wanted him in her life.
That’s when they get to thinking…
But by then, it’s just way too late!
Your baby doesn’t need a father who doesn’t want he or she, and you don’t need a man who doesn’t want you both! Let him go and be grateful that you now only have one baby to deal with! A real man will come along at the right time!
Thats right ladies! Let that loser GO… nowhere!
If he can pack his bags and leave you when you need him the most he will continue to leave everyone else when they need him too!
Yes, it hurts like hell that he has just walked away and you just can’t believe that he really doesn’t care! You wonder if it’s all an act and how he can go through with it, but I’m here to tell you that once he leaves it is no act, he is for real and he cares about one person, himself.
DO NOT beg him to come back home, do not make compromises on things you will do for him in order to keep your baby and still make him happy, this is not a deal breaker- this is a LIFE! A life he has made clear he doesn’t want nor deserve to be in if he has chosen to walk away!
Yes, there will be times you miss him and will want to reach out to let him know how you feel and try to persuade him to return, but he already knows how you feel I’m sure, it won’t make a difference!
Acceptance is hard.
Accept where you are at in your life right now, accept that he was not the man you thought he was, accept that he is gone and accept that you will be a single mum. Once you learn how to accept the situation for what it is, things will get better!
What you don’t accept is a man walking out in you while you’re pregnant with his child!
Stay strong ladies!
Kandy D x